Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Restrained by Grace

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Left to my own devices, I think my mouth would get me into a lot of trouble.  There is an edge to me, an acerbic wit that cuts and stings, a biting sarcasm that belittles and mocks.  Even the subtitle on this blog says, “Random Thoughts from a Snarky Presbyterian Pastor.”   Used to be, these rejoinders would just flow, leaving a wake of destruction.  I’d find myself prattling on with nothing really to say, but just talking because I love the sound of my own voice.

Nowadays, I cannot seem to come up with anything until a couple of hours later.  While running through a conversation in my mind, it will come to me, “I should have said…”  Snippy little comebacks don’t come to me quickly.  Usually all I can muster up now is a half-hearted “So’s your old man!”, and I never say it, knowing how ridiculous that sounds.

Maybe I’m just getting old, and the tongue has lost some of its fire – but I doubt that.

God is working in me, pouring out His grace in ways that will help me to crucify the old nature, the old man within me, and to live the new life in the power of His Spirit.

Jesus told his disciples, “When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what  you are to say will be given to you in that hour” (Matthew 10:19).  Now, clearly, Jesus is encouraging His disciples that when they face persecution for their faith, the Spirit will give them the witness and the words they are to speak.  But can we not say that the opposite may be true, that sometimes the Spirit does not give us words, so that we will remain quiet?

Consider some of the passages from the Proverbs about how we speak:

Proverbs 10:19 “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Proverbs 17:27–28 “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.”

Proverbs 21:23 “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”

Then there is the American Proverb:

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.”

I firmly believe it is the Spirit of God who is working in me to restrain my tongue.  It is the grace of God that keeps me from being the me I used to be.  It is the Spirit who is waging war against the nature of the flesh, the  “… enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy…” so that God’s Spirit may produce in me “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.”

SDG

21 Lessons for Fathers

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The following is a list of bullet points on fatherhood by Doug Wilson.  Each point was addressed and exanded upon more competely, but this is a summary of Wilson’s teaching on being a godly Father.

21 Points for Fathers – by Doug Wilson

  1. Love Jesus Christ, and express that love by worshiping His Father in the power of the Spirit, and do this as a gathered family on the Lord’s Day. Worship is a big deal. God honors those who honor Him (1 Sam. 2:30).
  2. Love your children by loving their mother. Love their mother by loving her children. This is the central way the gospel will be proclaimed in your home (Eph. 5:25).
  3. Teach them to love the standard, which is not the same thing as merely requiring them to conform to the standard (for a time). This is a function of heart loyalty (Prov. 23:26), and you teach them to love the standard (and to be loyal to you) by loving the standard yourself (and being loyal to them).
  4. Your garden of yes should have a tree of no in it, and not the other way around (Gen. 2:16). God is not a skinflint, and you should not paint Him as being one. In Christ, all the promises are yes and amen (2 Cor. 1:20). Resemble the God you serve.
  5. Give them the Torah, not the Talmud (Matt. 22:40). The law of God is simple to understand, and can be easily summarized. If your house rules are convoluted and Byzantine, then you have a problem. I well remember my father’s summary of what was expected of us—“no disobedience, no lying, and no disrespecting your mother.” See? Life is good.
  6. Acknowledge your children all need to be converted (Eph. 2:3), but do not do this with unequal weights and measures. If you apply impossible standards to your children, you are causing them to stumble. Beware of millstones as you bring them to Christ (Matt. 18:6).
  7. Listen to them. They are people. It is possible to converse with them (Prov. 18:13).
  8. Their food, shelter, and clothing take precedence over your toys (Ex. 21:10).
  9. Remember their frame (Ps. 103:14). Don’t skip naps, keep them up until 11:30, withhold a real dinner, and then paddle them for falling apart. Someone should paddle you for pulling them apart.
  10. Eat together and not just as refueling measure. This is how families become companions. The liberality that results in table fellowship is a big deal in Scripture (Prov. 11:25), so why withhold it from your family? If half your meals are eaten over the sink, then take stock of your situation.
  11. Respect your sons and love your daughters (Eph. 5: 33, 25). They are different, and those differences should be honored. This obviously does not mean you don’t have to love your sons or respect your daughters, but it does tell you which way to lean.
  12. Tell stories together. Listen to stories together. The gospel is a story (1 Cor. 15:3ff), and we come to know one another truly as we come to know the genre. By telling stories you come to realize that you are in one.
  13. Provide your children with a Christian education (Eph. 6:4). And it must be a true education, filled with life and laughter. The classroom is not a cauldron (Dt. 14:21).
  14. You should want a home full of Scripture, a home full of joy, a home full of music (Eph. 5:19; Col. 3:16). Godly child-rearing is Spirit-filled, and it cannot be Spirit-filled without becoming a musical.
  15. Give your children quantity time, and don’t try to sub in the guilt salve of so-called “quality time” (Dt. 6:4-9).
  16. Discipline should be a gift, not a grabbing. If you are retaliating against your children, then the whole thing is self-serving (Gal. 6:1).
  17. Discipline should be judicious, and not an occasion for you to jump to conclusions (Prov. 18:17). Sometimes kids can invite the injustice, and they bear the weight of it if they do, but fathers should fight to maintain justice in the home. Playing favorites with your children, incidentally, invites such injustice.
  18. The pain of discipline should be acute, not chronic. The Bible says that discipline should be painful (Heb. 12:11), but not the pain of a dull ache week after week. Heartache is not discipline.
  19. The point of discipline is restored fellowship (Heb. 12:11), not retribution. There is a difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline is correction, and can cease when correction is accomplished. You don’t make all your children spend the same amount of time in the tub for the sake of “equality.”
  20. Divided discipline is dangerous. Father and mother are in this together. Scripture requires them to be honored together (Ex. 20:12), and so they should work together. Don’t allow your children to apply the tactic of “divide and conquer.”
  21. Prepare them for independence (Gen. 2:24). Do not make the mistake of indulging sin when it is little and cute, and then trying to crack down on it later, when things start to look more serious.