Tag Archives: grace

A Pastor Looks at 40

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“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.”
(Psalm 90:12)

I turn 40 on Sunday, and I’m dreading it for some reason.  Maybe it’s because I gave a couple of friends such grief when they turned 40 that I know there will be some payback.  It could be because I’m starting to feel the age set in a bit.  When I was a kid, I always looked and acted older than my age, in my thirties, I always looked and acted a little younger – sort of the ageless male… (ha).  But now that I’m hitting 40, there are a few more grey hairs, aches and pains in places I didn’t know I had, and all of a sudden 10:00 seems like a reasonable bed-time.

When I turned 30 it was just another birthday; it didn’t mean much at all.  Ten years later, I guess I’m a bit more contemplative; this milestone’s made me stop and think.  I thought I’d share some reflections on what I’ve learned over these 40 years.

If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans. 

Growing up, my Father was a teacher.  His parents were teachers.  I swore I’d never be a teacher.  Teachers are underpaid, overworked, and every parent whose little Johnny or Jane does excel is quick to point out the inadequacies of their teacher.

So what did I do, I became a Pastor.  I am a pastor whose passion lies in teaching and preaching the Word of God.  I love sharing the wisdom of Scripture and helping people apply it to their lives.  I never could have imagined the joy and honor that comes from being a Teaching Elder.  God had this in mind for me all along, I’m so glad He didn’t let me have things my way.

Man’s natural inclination is toward passivity, but God calls us to more.

I’ve picked up on this thread through authors such as Dennis Rainey, Robert Lewis, and John Elderidge, but I’ve also seen it confirmed in my own life.  The natural inclination of man is toward passivity.  Consider Adam in the Garden: where was he when Satan tempted Eve? Not off plowing the south 40, he was standing right beside her, saying nothing as his wife was led into sin, saying nothing as she tempted him as well, pointing the finger at everyone else when God asked him what had happened.

Man’s natural inclination is toward passivity, looking for the easy way out, the short cut, “working smarter not harder.”  Great advancements in the world have come because men want things to be easier – and that’s not all bad – think about this the next time you get in your car, turn on the AC, run the dishwasher (you get the idea).

Too often, however, our passivity gets the best of us.  We’d rather sit back and let things happen that stand up and take the lead.  We watch the world fall apart, our communities fall apart, our relationships fall apart, and we tell ourselves there’s nothing we can do.  We wonder, “What’s wrong with the world today?” when the answer is staring back at us in the mirror.

Our natural inclination is toward passivity, but God calls us to something greater.  God calls us to a passionate desire for His supremacy in our lives, that we would love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, that we would love our neighbors as ourselves.  Christ calls us, and his love compels us, to take up our cross daily, actively, and follow him.  Our love for our wives, which can only truly be established first in our love of God, should lead us to lay down our lives for her, just as Christ laid down his life for the church.

Men, how often do we just sit back and say, well I see the need, but someone else can handle that?  Here is something Robert Lewis called his North Star for men, “A real man rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects God’s greater reward.”

On a similar note:

A godly man accepts responsibility, admits his brokenness, seeks forgiveness, and works for reconciliation

When you reject passivity and step up to the call of God, you must also take responsibility.  Own up to your failures, admit your brokenness.  So many pastors, myself included, work frantically to try to hide the fact that they themselves are broken and in desperate need of the same grace they so boldly proclaim from the pulpit every Sunday.  “Never let them see you sweat.  Give the appearance that you have arrived at the destination, and are setting the example for all to follow.  No weakness, no fear.”  No thanks!

There is only one who has gone before that is worthy of anyone following, I merely walk with you saying “Keep your eyes on Jesus.”  If I set any example, may it only be in my brokenness, my daily desire to forgive and be forgiven, and in the manifest joy that comes from knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.

I am insufficient for the task at hand

I am daily reminded of my insufficiencies for the ministry.  I like to think that I am a pretty solid preacher, but I know there are better.  I know that there are pastors who are better at finding the balance of pastoral care, planning, administration, study, and family.  I care deeply for my congregation, but I often have a hard time communicating that love.  After 12 years of ministry, 7 years here in Cherokee, I’ve learned and grown in many ways; but I still have a lot to learn.

Still, I am reminded of Paul’s words to the Corinthians –

2 Cor 3:5-6 “Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit.”

2 Cor 12:9-10 “‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Good friendships are rare, but they are wonderful

Proverbs 18:24 teaches, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”  Over 40 years there have been a lot of friends who have come and gone, and with Facebook, it’s great to reconnect with many of them.  But there are those special friends who will always hold a place in your heart.  They call for no other reason than just to talk.  They are always ready to listen and encourage (and sometimes admonish).

A younger man desires popularity and a wide circle of friends – it’s nice to be liked.  Now, with a couple of good friends who know my heart and stand beside me, I am content.

SDG

Only wretches need grace…

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“Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.'”
(James 4:6)

Whenever I am asked to do a funeral for someone who is not a member of my church, I always remember my first “non-member” funeral.  It was a sad, sad, story.

After 75 years of marriage, a loving wife who had cooked every meal, done all the laundry, and handled all the bills was gone, leaving a husband who didn’t know how to care for himself.  Within a month he committed suicide.  He could bear to live without her, he didn’t know how to go forward on his own.

The pastor of the church they belonged to was out of town, and I was asked to lead the service.  I met with the family to find out about his life, his faith, those things in his life that made others better for knowing him.  No one had anything positive to say.

The children of this couple remembered their father as angry and quick-tempered.  Not even the man’s pastor could offer anything for a eulogy.  The only thing she could offer was that he had been in church a couple weeks back, and had come forward to recieve communion.

The funeral came, and I was struggling to find the words to say.  So I said what everyone knew, but was afraid to say out loud (I was in someone else’s church, officiating a sermon for a stranger in a sanctuary filled with strangers – I could pretty much say whatever I wanted.)

I said that the deceased was a hard man to love.  He was often angry and quick-tempered, and he seldom evidenced the fruit of a life of faithfulness.

And then I said something no one expected – He is just like everyone of us.  The man we had gathered to remember was a sinner in need of salvation, a sheep who had strayed from the fold.  While some of us may deal better with our sins, putting on a good front, pretending that its not really all that bad, we are each of us unloving and unlovable, in desperate need of help.

Then I finished with something like: The bottom line is, the grace that saves us is the same grace that saves those around us.  If anyone has any hope for salvation, it is not in our goodness, our commitment to the cause, our abiliy to make it seem like everything is okay.  Our hope for salvation is in the atoning work of Christ, who while we were still sinners proved his love for us in dying for us on the cross so that by faith we may live in Him and with Him a life that glorfies God.  There is no difference in the fare.  There is no difference in the grace.  The grace that covers me is the same grace that covers you, the same grace that covers the lowliest of all.

Friends, we are saved by grace, and that is a humbling thought.  For grace is only necessary for the wretched, healing is only needed for the sick, salvation is only for those who are doomed.  We are none of us above it, we all stand in desperate need of God’s grace.

Since we are covered by the grace of Jesus Christ, and because it is the same grace for each of us that gives us hope, should not that same grace lead us to be gracious to one another?  Let’s be honest, we all long to be treated with compassion, grace, and mercy.  We all know our shortcomings, we know our own faults.  We pray that when we spread ourselves too thin and things start falling apart, when our old nature, the way of the flesh, creeps up again, we pray that God will be gracious and renew, restore, and redeem us in Jesus Christ; and we hope that other Christians, other sinners saved by grace, will bear with our shortcomings.  Shouldn’t we, especially in the church, treat each other with the same patience and grace that we desire for ourselves?

I supposed I’ve said all of this just to be reminded, and to remind you, dear reader, of the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  If you want people to treat you graciously, be gracious.  If you are looking for encouragement, encourage others.  If you want to be loved, be loving.

SDG