My Personal Apocalypse

“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you…”
(Colossians 3:5)

I don’t usually put a lot of stock in my dreams – rarely do I even remember them.  Dreams are open to so much interpretation, and there are so many things that can influence them.  Who knows but that on those nights when my dreams are rather disturbing that maybe I didn’t have too much salsa before going to bed?  It’s like the line from Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, when Scrooge tells the ghost of Jacob Marley, “There’s more gravy than grave about you!”  I trust the Word of God that says in Joel, “I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh; your sons and daughter shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions…” I just don’t often associate my dreams with the fulfillment of that prophesy.

Still, there are times when I think my dreams are helping to reveal what God is trying to say to me.  Take, for example, a dream I had not too long ago – I call it, My Personal Apocalypse.

My life had become its own dystopian future (think Blade Runner not Hunger Games).  I was spiraling out of control.  I don’t know what happened to my family – I’m guessing they had left me, or I had driven them away.  Who would want to stay with me.  I was unkempt, frazzled, disheveled; I had really let myself go.

I found myself surrounded by illicit and wanton behavior.  There was drug use, fighting, and scantily clad women in the cloudy periphery of my dream.  I knew it was there, but I did not partake.  And while I had kept myself clean from the drugs, the sex, and all the rest of the debauchery; I soon realized that the whole dream was set inside a McDonald’s, which was apparently my drug of choice.  My sin was gluttony, sloth – but not just physically, it cut even deeper to a spiritual apathy and lethargy that was doubly fatal.

Suddenly – because time is rather “wibbly-wobbly” in dreams – I met someone, one of my high school teachers with whom I had recently reconnected  on Facebook.  There he was, in my dream, pointing to the door, and telling me it was time to leave.  He said I had really let myself go, that I needed to get up and engage in the fight for my life.

That’s when my alarm went off.

Now, just as a side note, I use my iPad as my alarm clock and on its lock screen in the following picture:

IMG_0706

In case you can’t read this, it is a quote from the Puritan pastor, John Owen, which says, “Do you mortify; do you make it your daily work; be always at it whilst you live; cease not a day from this work; be killing sin or it will be killing you.”

This is the image I saw when I woke from that dream.  Make War!

Are you engaging in the war for your life, or are you listing to the false prophets who cry, “Peace, Peace!” when there is no peace.  There is, in the life of every believer, a necessary and unavoidable conflict with the old life – if you are to become more like Christ you cannot also remain like you were before knowing Christ.  The Westminster Confession teaches us that our growth in holiness is imperfect in this life, and “there abides still some remnants of corruption in every part, whence arises a continual and irreconcilable war, the flesh lusting against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh.”

Each of us is in a battle for our lives.  We are fighting against sin, sin which is so entrenched in our lives, so natural and instinctual, that often we don’t even know what we’re doing.  No one needs to teach you to lie, to take what you want, to put yourself first.

For those who put their faith in Christ, we realize that only through His victory over death on the cross will we ever know victory over sin, and we trust in His grace, His righteousness to cover us.  But that does not mean that we are exempt from taking up arms in the battle.  Once He brings us to life in Christ, the Spirit then reveals the depth of our sin, and equips us with His grace to mortify more and more the old man, and to live in the new.

To sum up the Owens quote, make it your daily work to put kill your sin, or else your sin will be killing you.

Are you engaged in the battle?

SDG

            Next Week – How to Mortify Sin.

Divine Discontent

“But godliness with contentment is great gain…”
(1 Timothy 6:6)

I have a confession to make.  I really struggle with Paul’s teaching on contentment.

It is not that I am filled with avarice, a greedy desire for wealth, success, and all the materialistic worldliness around me.  In many ways I am content in life; I have been blessed with a wonderful family and some very good friends, I am never forced to go hungry, I have a safe, spacious, and beautiful home, I have a good job doing something I love that supports my family – who could ask for more.  The Apostle says, “if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.”  I can agree with that.  I have everything I need.  God has richly blessed me.  Who could ask for more?

And still…

I find myself asking for more.  No, not more stuff.  Not more in a sense of quantity.  If I am discontented, it is perhaps a discontent in quality, a discontent in character.

I get frustrated with myself, and am dissatisfied in who I am.  I struggle with the same old sins, day in and day out.  Just when I think I’ve got them licked, I find myself neck deep.  Anger, pride, jealousy… they disguise themselves so well in false-righteousness. “I’m angry, but I’ve got good reason to be angry…”  Shouldn’t I have a handle on these things yet?

I long for my life to be the kind of life that points others to the life of Christ.  I want John the Baptist’s words to be mine, “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30).  I long for that kind of transparency, where others see Christ, his goodness, his love, his mercy, in me.  I want to be able to preach the gospel, and then have my life so consistent with, and dependent on, that gospel that I do not disqualify myself from the ministry.  So yeah, as long as I struggle with sin, I’m guessing I will always be discontented with myself.

Here’s the thing.  None of us has arrived yet.  None of us has attained perfection.  Each of us is still under the sanctifying and transforming grace of God’s Spirit.  When we have walked with Christ, we are different than what we were when we started, but none of us has become what we shall be.  The Spirit teaches us in 1 John 3:2, “Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.”  We are becoming like Christ, we’re not there yet, and we won’t be there until he appears.  God, who began a good work in you, is faithful to complete it in the day of Christ (Phil 1:6), and until then, He is still working in you.

I think that means that there is a sense in which a little divine discontent is appropriate for the Christian life.  I want more of God and less of me in my life.  I want to be transformed by His glory, not conformed to this world.  You can be content, whatever you face, with the blessings that God has given you, especially the blessing in of knowing that he will never leave you nor forsake you (Heb. 13:5).  And at the same time, while walking through this pilgrimage, you can hunger and thirst for righteousness (Matt 5:6) and long for your heavenly dwelling (2 Cor 5:2).

Stay hungry.  Keep growing.  And give God thanks in all things.

SDG