Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Three Things Every Father Needs

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While wrestling with my three boys (my daughter had the good sense to stay clear of this fracas), it suddenly occurred to me that there are at least three things that every Father needs.  I list them for you now, in the order of their priority while wrestling:

  1. An Athletic Cup – I will not go into great detail here, but every father knows the necessity of this protection.  From infancy on, it seems destined that your children are aiming for that one spot they know will bring you to your knees.  As soon as they are walking, their heads, hands, soccer balls, and baseball bats are honed for the strike zone.  When babies are born, new moms get a diaper bag filled with lotions, samples of diapers, coupons and the like.  Would it kill them to throw in a cup for dad?
  2. Duct Tape/Super Glue – Inevitably, while wrestling, or doing anything else with dad, something will break (a dish, a toy, an arm, etc).  Having been raised by MacGyver, any man in my generation should know how to fix just about anything with a roll of duct tape (they even make it in camouflage now, if you can find it).
  3. A Good Motto – A friend of mine had the phrase, “Don’t put your mouth on it.”  You’d be surprised how often you say that as a parent, and in the least expected situations.  Dad needs to have that one pearl of wisdom for which he will be remembered.  I was watching “Hamlet” the other night, and Polonius has volumes of wisdom, but Laertes and Ophelia roll their eyes when he prattles on.  Better to have one nugget of wisdom that is handed down, than a chest of pearls that is left behind (I made that up myself).
    So what’s my pearl of wisdom?  I’m tempted to say, “Never put a dages on a res,” but until the kids take Hebrew, it will be meaningless to them.  I’ve caught myself saying, “Don’t be sorry, be right,” but I don’t know if that’s how I want to be remembered.  Hopefully my catch-phrase will be “Remember whose you are,” which I say every morning as I drop the kids off at school.

If you can add to this list, your share you one note of wisdom, please feel free to respond to this post.

Good luck out there dads!

Not by the hair of my… nevermind.

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Today some random thoughts on my new hair style.

Classification:  What exactly do you call this style.  I’m not bald, as evidenced by the fact that, in order to keep the appearance of being bald for the play I’m having to shave twice daily.  Why can’t my beard grow this fast?  I mean seriously, I’ve always wanted to grow and cool goatee, but it’s not in the cards.  It wasn’t until after I was out of college that I actually had to start shaving on a daily basis.
Neither am I a “Skin-Head.”  The origin of that name is from 1960’s Great Britain, and today is mostly used to refer to the subculture of White Power/Aryan ilk, of which I want no association.
So what do we call this?  Clean shaven.  Well-shorn.  Shined.  Bald-by-choice.  Shaved.  Smooth.  Hairless.  Mr. Clean.  Cue-balled.  Smooth-skulled.  My 10 year old daughter just calls me “The Freak.”  You take your pick, they all work.

Comments I’ve Recieved:  Usually when a lady (especially my wife) gets her hair done, a comment is expected.  “I really like your hair.”  Or, “Do you get your hair done.” Something along those lines.
When a guy gets his hair cut, however, he really isn’t looking for a comment.  But they still come.  How many times have I heard, “What, did you loose a bet?”  Or the brilliant one, “Did you get your hair cut?”
Just once I wish I had the chutzpa to come right out and say, “Hair cut?  What are you talking about?  What do you mean?  Agh!!! What happened to my hair!!!”  Or maybe the more cinical, “No, as a matter of fact, I’m sick and lost my hair.  Now don’t you feel foolish for asking?”  But, I just play along.  Still, it’s good advertizing for the play.
The best comment I have by far would have to be this:  “It’s like a woman with a low cut shirt whose cleavage is showing.  You know your not supposed to look, but your eyes just keep going there.”  I really didn’t have a response to that.

The Work Involved in such a “Maintenance Free” hair cut:  I’ve heard a couple of people say, just think of the money you’ll save in shampoo and gel.  Sure.  I can take that money and spend it on shaving cream, razors, and sunblock.  It takes a few minutes longer in the bathroom everymorning trying to get the head smooth, and if I shave too close, then it gets red and irritated for the rest of the day.

The look is starting to grow on me (sorry for the pun).  I don’t know how long I’ll keep this up.   Judging by the responses I’ve been getting, you’re not too sure either.  I guess we’ll all just have to wait and see.

Peace,

SDG