Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Some Things Are Best Left On The Mountain

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Sorry for the delay in blog updates.  I’ve been away for a few weeks on vacation.  Now that I’m back, I’ll keep posting the devotions from the Catechism, but I thought I’d just share a couple of thoughts as I transition back into civilization.  Having been reunited with the family for a full week now, I am reminded that there are some things that work better on the mountain than they do at home:

1.  “Crapuchinating” et al. – This is a Briley Rivers word, and it refers to the act of eliminating solidly excreted mamilian waste products.  On the mountain we proudly announce, “I’ve got to ‘crapuchinate’!”, grab our little shovel and roll of paper, and away we go.  This is usually preceeded by several minutes, if now hours, of loud and boistrous farting – in which we take great joy – eerily reminicent of the campfire scene from “Blazing Saddles.”  Oddly enough, this sort of thing is frownd upon in civilized company – unless, of course your 6 months old, then it’s cute.  Bragging about the size of the hole you had to dig or the moose you made pass out – this is best left on the mountain (case in point – my wife just read this and said, “That’s kind of crass.” – Duh).

2. Going A Week Without A Shower or a Shave.  There is something strangly wonderful about living on a mountain for a week without a shower or a razor blade in sight.  True, after a couple of days you begin to wonder if your being closely followed by gaggle of skunks – but there’s no greater snubing of modern sensibilities than aging a real good B.O. (mine might be likened to old cheese and spam with a whiff of toe jam and an ever so slight hint of death).  You get to the point where you simply don’t zip up the eskimo bag for fear of suffocating in the night, and you stop worrying about the bears because even they wouldn’t come near anything so ripe.  My apologies to Brian, who shared the tent for a week, but then again, you did bring the spam.  Don’t think I didn’t enjoy my 30 minute shower when I got home – but this too, is something best left on the mountain.

3. Latent Pyromania – Deep within each of us there must be a little caveman wanting to burn his way out.  From 6:00 in the morning until 10:00 at night, somebody’s by the fire, watching, tending, stoking the fire.  When not at the fire we’re thinking to ourselves, “I wonder if this will burn in the fire?”  We wonder how long this 10 foot long tree will burn.  We fill the valley with smoke from our white man fire.  We argue about whether not green flame is indeed the hotest flame, but we’ll never know since we can’t see it.  But we’re all greatly satisfied at the end of the day becuase we have fire.  I’m sitting in the living room thinking, “I wonder how long this roll-top desk will burn…” but again, this is something best left on the mountain.

4.  Top Ramen, Dehydrated Beef Stroganoff, and Beef Jerkey – I think that needs no further explanation.

To borrow a phrase, what happens on the mountain, stays on the mountain, as well it should. But there is one thing that must come down from the mountain, the fellowship with my brothers in Christ.  What’s remarkable about this trip and every trip I’ve taken is that even though it’s been a year since we’ve seen each other last, we pick up as though we’ve never missed a day.  We kid, we joke, and we tease, but we also pray, and laugh, and sweat together as we challenge each other to climb that last peak.  Only the love of Christ could bind the hearts of five completely different guys together so that we all come down from the mountain fresher, stronger, taller, than when we left.  This kind of fellowship; this kind of brotherhood; this kind of love is rare.  The world needs more of it.  It cannot, it should not, stay on the mountain.

Enjoy some pics…

 The GangFH000003

Crystal LakeFH000027

SDG

Bring Back Bugs Bunny

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Whatever happened to the good cartoons?  I mean, really!!  Why do they have to be informative, educational, and safe?  I survived the cartoonish violence of Yo-Samity Sam and Elmer Fudd blowing the pants off of all God’s creatures, and am relatively well adjusted in spite of it all.  I dare say I even learned a few things as well.  Such as:

1) When trying to catch a rabbit, mouse, bird, or any such varmint – never buy anything from ACME.  As neat as it looks, it simply won’t work.

2) The “duck-season, rabbit-season, duck-season” confusion tactic only works between one four year old and another.  (I’ve tried it on my kids, and they don’t get it – philistines).

3) The French stink, but their good with the women.  (ala Pepe Le Pew)

4) Given the right amount of postage, you can ship yourself anywhere in the world and get there within seconds.

5) Never, I repeat, Never, take that shortcut in Albuquerque!

6) Sticking your finger in the barrel of a shotgun when fired will cause the gun to backfire, and therefore ensure your complete safety.  (I’ve not tested this one – yet).

7) Dressing in women’s clothing might get you out of one mess, but it will only cause more problems down the road.

8) Pounding your fork and spoon on the table, yelling “Where’s my hossenpheffer?” will get an immediate response from your wife (although perhaps not the one you would like).

Instead, today we watched “Caillou,” which is apparently a show designed to teach our children that given enough whining and crying your parents will give you anything.  I’d rather listen to a dripping faucet.  Shows like this will keep Ambien from ever being profitable.

Perhaps the show did reach its intended goal.  My two year old asked to turn off the TV so we could go outside and play.  I guess that tells you what he thought of it.  But I guarantee had the “Bugs and Tweety” show been on… ah, paradise!