Day 4 has come and gone – and what a day it’s been. We began the day with worship at the Village of Hope. It was amazing to worship with the Haitian people. We were welcomed gladly, shared greetings from our home church, and witnessed some spectacular singing, prayers, and dynamic preaching. Fortunately, the worship leader came up after the sermon and gave a brief translation of the sermon.
The Sermon was based on Genesis 1:25-28 and the pastor spoke of the creation of man for God’s glory, and how God has, and will, provide all that we need to follow him. He was passionate and excited to share the texts, that much was obvious even though we didn’t understand a word of it.
From there we got a quick tour of the Village of Hope, had lunch, and rested for an hour or so before leaving for the Consolation Center for worship with the girls there. Again, we were blown away by their singing – boistrous, energetic, and lively. Some were songs we know (How Great Thou Art, This is the Day The Lord Has Made, I will Celebrate Sing unto The Lord), others we had no clue, but it was wonderful. I was asked to preach to the girls, and I shared the story of Mephibosheth from 2 Sam 9. Zachary was a huge help translating, and the kids responded well.
What was great was the 3 year old, Michaela, who, right after the service, came up and tugged on my pant leg until I knelt down to her. She just wanted to sit on my lap and cuddle. I was only too happy to oblige. She must of sat there for 20 minutes. I was told that she fell asleep during the sermon and was still waking up – who cares. She wanted held, and her father or mother weren’t there to hold her – my heart broke for her. The world stopped for a while as she curled up in my arms.
I wonder if maybe I preached more in those 20 minutes of quiet time with Michaela than I did in the 10 minutes I spoke. Probably so.
Our devotion today on the Fruit of the Spirit addressed Patience.
There’s something you have to learn quickly here in Haiti – things in Haiti happen when they happen. There’s not a lot of hurry here. Unless your driving that is – then its foot the floor at a breakneck pace.
No, for the most part, there’s not a lot of schedule keeping here. I didn’t even pack my watch. Agenda driven as we are in the states, I think people here are just the opposite. There’s always work to do, but it will still be there tomorrow if it doesn’t get done today. The heat may have something to do with it, but things just move slower here.
And that requires patience. We want to get things done, accomplish something spectacular, come home with a progress report – and sometimes that just does not happen. Sometimes holding a baby who needs to be loved is the most productive thing you can do, and that baby will need to be held and loved tomorrow, and the day after that, and long after you are gone. You will have nothing to show for it, it will force you to lay aside your ambitions – but it is the work of the Lord.
We demand so much of our time, so much of one another – are we ever really patient. We need, desperately, to exercise great patience – with each other, and with ourselves.
None of us have achieved our full stature. We are all growing, learning, changing into the man or woman God is creating us to be. I know my wife, God bless her, is a long-suffering woman. She has been waiting 20 years, and may have to wait 20 more, for me to grow into the man she knows God is making me to be; she is one of the most patient people I know.
Patience is not just a virtue, it is a gift from God. God demonstrated His tremendous patience in that while we ran headstrong from Him, He was faithful, He loved us steadfastly in Christ, and He did not count our sins against us, but laid them upon His Son upon the cross that we might be forgiven and have peace with Him.
In this kind of patience, we must bear with each other’s shortcomings, forgiving as Christ has forgiven us – freely, graciously, preemptively. When we are walking in His Spirit, His patience will teach us to deal patiently with others – especially those who would try our patience.
Finally, the Patience of God’s Spirit would also lead us to trust in the sovereign hand of God and His plan for our lives, even in the face of overwhelming obstacles. Knowing that “for those who love God all things work together for good” (Rom 8:28), knowing that nothing “will be able to separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ” (Romans 8:39), knowing that “he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil 1:6), and that “he will make everything beautiful in its time” (Eccl 3:11), knowing these things we can live in patient and faithful anticipation, trusting in HIs every promise.
SDG
Tag Archives: Sovereignty
Why I Struggle to Pray
“Pray without ceasing.”
(1 Thessalonians 5:17)
I heard it said once that if you want to embarrass a Pastor, ask him about his prayer life.
The sad fact of the matter is, even as pastors, we struggle to pray. You probably expect that pastors have got a handle on these spiritual disciplines, after all, we’ve got our Master of Divinity hanging on the wall. Truth is, though, the life of a pastor is just like the life of any other Christian. Pastors wrestle with sin, struggle with discipline, and must constantly come back under the Word of God for “teaching, reproof, correction, and training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work” (2 Tim 3:16-17). No Pastor has arrived at that point where they have got Divinity Mastered – and those who tell you otherwise should be avoided.
All that to say, I struggle with prayer.
I hesitate to tell you this because 1) I am ashamed of the fact, and 2) I don’t want you to use that as an excuse (Well, the pastor struggles with prayer, so I don’t have to pray…). Still, I think that as a Pastor, I should live the Christian life in such a way that demonstrates a life of Discipleship, through what I say and do. Discipleship is a journey, and that journey has ups and downs, hard lessons to be learned, and there are times when each of us stumble and fall. To model Discipleship that is so polished and perfected is a lie – not even the Disciples in the Gospel followed Jesus perfectly.
So, back to prayer… I struggle with prayer. Sometimes I forget to pray. There, I said it. Sometimes I lay down and night and I’m asleep before my head hits the pillow, and I’m up with the alarm rushing for a busy day – and nary a prayer has been uttered. Sometimes I’m frustrated, preoccupied, or I just don’t stop to take the time to do it. This isn’t always the case. Often I do pray, and I try to maintain a daily habit of time before the face of God in prayer. But then there are days when I find I don’t pray – and that disturbs me.
I hate this about myself. I know that prayerlessness is faithlessness. Prayerlessness is disobedience. Prayerlessness is godlessness.
So why don’t I pray? I ask this so that I can identify in my own life, and possibly yours, the reasons we struggle to pray so that we can, hopefully, grow in prayer. Here are a couple of thoughts:
It feels like I’m not doing anything. When there is a problem I want to fix it. I want to address the issue, talk to those affected, work to bring help, relief, and resolution. And so it seems counterproductive to stop and pray. Shouldn’t I be doing something, anything, instead?
What I forget is that prayer is the most important thing I can do. Martin Luther once said on a busy day, “I have so much to do that I will spend the first three hours in prayer.” Prayer brings us in touch with the One who is able to do all things, the One who makes our actions effective, the One who empowers and supports our love. Any action that does not begin in prayer will ultimately rely on your strength and power to sustain it.
I’m not good enough to pray. I can’t work with a dirty desk. If I’ve got a day of writing ahead of me, I’ve got to clear the desk first, remove all distractions, then I can get to work. We often assume the same attitude with prayer, that we’ve got to get our hearts right before we can come to God. Silly rabbit, that’s what prayer is for.
I don’t get anything out of praying. For some reason we’ve come to expect that every experience of prayer should culminate in some ecstatic mystical delight that satisfies our existential longing for communion with God. We should feel swept away, tingly, overcome with the moment of prayer.
What we fail to remember is that, as in any relationship, oftentimes in prayer before God we find ourselves dealing with the daily, ordinary, pedestrian affairs. We come to Him asking for our daily bread. Sometimes we find ourselves with bread to satisfy our needs; other times we discover steak, wine, and desert. But, most usually, it’s the bread that we need that we find in prayer.
My mind wanders and I don’t know what to say. You know how it is. You sit down to pray, and 10 seconds in, you’re already thinking about your bills, your schedule, your kids, the ballgame – everything but prayer. Maybe you refocus, and get back to your praying, and a minute in, you start dozing off. Even the most focused of us can get Spiritual ADD when we close our eyes in prayer.
Ultimately, we are undisciplined and unfocused in our prayers. The disciples struggled with this, they couldn’t stay awake to pray with Jesus in the Garden. We hate the idea of reading prayers, and think we have to forge out on our own, and then we ramble and mutter and really say nothing at all. We think of all the random things that come to mind while in prayer as distractions, when in reality they may be the Spirit’s prompting us to actually pray for those things. We are spiritually lazy, and we give up too easily. We find opening our hearts to be a difficult thing, and so we offer up a few platitudes and deprive ourselves of the sweet communion with God that fervent prayer can offer.
I don’t really need God. I don’t think anyone would really ever come out and say this, but a prayerless life is a life without God. When we don’t pray, we are telling ourselves, I can take care of this on my own. There’s no need to bother God with these day to day issues; I can handle it. I’ll wait to ask God for help when things really get bad.
Genuine prayer is humbling, dependent, and needy. Genuine prayer to God is like a beggar pleading for food. “Give us this day our daily bread” Jesus taught us to pray. We are, whether we acknowledge it or not, constantly dependent upon God. Prayer brings us back to the reality that no matter how successful we may be, we need His help, His provision, His grace, His mercy, His strength, His love, His wisdom, His everything.
I don’t think God will hear/answer my prayer. Yes, I know that throughout Scripture God heard the prayers of His people, and He promises to hear our prayers through Christ who intercedes for us. I know the stories of answered prayer; I’ve even seen prayers answered in my own life. Still, maybe God will let me down this time. Can I really trust Him? Maybe God will not grant what I want… no, NEED… or His plan will be different than mine.
We doubt God’s goodness, we forget God’s faithfulness, we do not trust His provision and so we do not pray. We think we know better than God what we need in this life, we have our plans worked out and all we really want is His approval, not His will. So we insulate ourselves: God can’t let us down if we never ask anything of Him.
I love my sin more than I love God. That is a hard truth to accept, but it is often the case. I love the power that a bitter and unforgiving heart gives me over others. I love the immediate gains that selfishness and indulgence offers.
Coming into the presence of God reveals my sinfulness and demands a healing. Praying for my enemy forces me to see him no longer as an enemy but someone to love. Praying for healing in my marriage requires me to accept my responsibility in its brokenness. Prayer doesn’t change the world, it changes me. And the old me doesn’t want to change.
Okay, so I’ve been brutally honest. But isn’t that where we need to start with God? Maybe you can relate, perhaps I’m alone here. The fact remains, we need to pray. We need to cast aside these hindrances that would keep us from coming with confidence before the throne of God. Christ has opened the way, let us draw near to Him.
SDG



